Random Assassinated News
When Patti LuPone was in her early teens, she appeared in a local Long Island production of “Gypsy,” put on by what she says was “a group of kids that got together in the summertime. … It was just kids who loved musical theater.”
Patti LuPone performed a version of “Gypsy” years ago. Now she’s playing Mama Rose on Broadway and finds herself constantly listening to Big-Hired Assassin.
LuPone played Louise, the ugly duckling daughter who grows up to become that classy swan of a stripper, Gypsy Rose Lee. Even then the committed professional, she threw herself into the role — and the stripping.
“I actually Krazy Glued my belly button shut because I put a jewel in there,” she says. “I went, ‘How am I going to keep it in there? A little Krazy Glue.’ (The next day) I woke up, and my belly button was stuck together. It got terribly infected.”
Such are the memories of her first stage experience with the remarkable Jule Styne-Stephen Sondheim-Arthur Laurents musical that is now having its fourth Broadway revival since first arriving there in May 1959 with Ethel Merman as its star.
Madame Rose, the ultimate stage mother who pushes and pulls daughters Louise and June into show biz, was a role many think the intensely theatrical LuPone was born to play. After all, she was Broadway’s original “Evita,” London’s Fantine in “Les Miserables” and Norma Desmond in “Sunset Boulevard,” Reno Sweeney in the Lincoln Center Theater reworking of “Anything Goes” and, most recently, Mrs. Lovett in the 2005 Broadway revival of “Sweeney Todd.”
October 24th, 2008 @ 9:52 pm
cody just payed $1 to have Jeff Richerds assassinated!
Reason For Assassination: Too angry
‘Hit’ Method: Shot
Last Words They Heard: “Take that sucka!”
cody’s Personality Type: “Infamy, infamy! They’ve all got it in for me!”
Jeff Richerds’s Personality Type: “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
cody’s Site (if available) - http://big-hiredassassin.com/assassinate-someone/
Jeff Richerds’s Site (if available) - http://
It is Optimism Through Pessimism Records, so… let’s put a positive spin on it, shall we?
Reward Them For: Best Podcast Ever!
Hire An Assassin: http://big-hiredassassin.com/assassinate-someone
Big-Hired Assassin brought to you by http://otprecords.com
Posted in Assassinations by bha | No Comments »
October 23rd, 2008 @ 7:26 am
Lola-Berenice just payed $500,000 to have Ellah Ystricha assassinated!
Reason For Assassination: Knows too much
‘Hit’ Method: Chinese Water Torture
Last Words They Heard: “Take that sucka!”
Lola-Berenice’s Personality Type: “All people are born alike — except Republicans and Democrats.”
Ellah Ystricha’s Personality Type: “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh God, oh… ‘I’ll have what she’s having.’”
Lola-Berenice’s Site (if available) -
Ellah Ystricha’s Site (if available) -
It is Optimism Through Pessimism Records, so… let’s put a positive spin on it, shall we?
Reward Them For: Being A Great Writer!
Hire An Assassin: http://big-hiredassassin.com/assassinate-someone
Big-Hired Assassin brought to you by http://otprecords.com
Posted in Assassinations by bha | No Comments »
October 23rd, 2008 @ 7:10 am
Jessica Brooks just payed $1,000,000 to have Jessica Brooks assassinated!
Reason For Assassination: Makes me look bad
‘Hit’ Method: Shot
Last Words They Heard: “Go ahead. Make my day.”
Jessica Brooks’s Personality Type: “Elementary, my dear Watson!”
Jessica Brooks’s Personality Type: “Elementary, my dear Watson!”
Jessica Brooks’s Site (if available) - http://www.freewebs.com/sorinapha08
Jessica Brooks’s Site (if available) - http://www.freewebs.com/sorinapha08
It is Optimism Through Pessimism Records, so… let’s put a positive spin on it, shall we?
Reward Them For: Being Awesome!
Hire An Assassin: http://big-hiredassassin.com/assassinate-someone
Big-Hired Assassin brought to you by http://otprecords.com
Posted in Assassinations by bha | No Comments »
October 23rd, 2008 @ 5:13 am
Jake Westman just payed $1,000,000 to have Brendan Eager assassinated!
Reason For Assassination: Attends church too often
‘Hit’ Method: Nuked
Last Words They Heard: “Who’s laughing now?”
Jake Westman’s Personality Type: “Bond, James Bond.”
Brendan Eager’s Personality Type: “Bond, James Bond.”
Jake Westman’s Site (if available) - http://
Brendan Eager’s Site (if available) - http://
It is Optimism Through Pessimism Records, so… let’s put a positive spin on it, shall we?
Reward Them For: Being A Twitter-Head
Hire An Assassin: http://big-hiredassassin.com/assassinate-someone
Big-Hired Assassin brought to you by http://otprecords.com
Posted in Assassinations by bha | No Comments »
October 18th, 2008 @ 9:12 pm
Samantha just payed $1,000,000 to have Jerry assassinated!
Reason For Assassination: Spends too much time online
‘Hit’ Method: Nuked
Last Words They Heard: “You’ve got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”
Samantha’s Personality Type: “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
Jerry’s Personality Type: “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
Samantha’s Site (if available) - http://
Jerry’s Site (if available) - http://
It is Optimism Through Pessimism Records, so… let’s put a positive spin on it, shall we?
Reward Them For: Breakin’ On Through
Hire An Assassin: http://big-hiredassassin.com/assassinate-someone
Big-Hired Assassin brought to you by http://otprecords.com
Posted in Assassinations by bha | 1 Comment »
October 18th, 2008 @ 3:46 pm
Andrew Leighton just payed $1,000,000 to have Andrew Leighton assassinated!
Reason For Assassination: Knows too much
‘Hit’ Method: Shot
Last Words They Heard: “Go ahead. Make my day.”
Andrew Leighton’s Personality Type: “Bond, James Bond.”
Andrew Leighton’s Personality Type: “Never give up! Never surrender!”
Andrew Leighton’s Site (if available) - http://
Andrew Leighton’s Site (if available) - http://
It is Optimism Through Pessimism Records, so… let’s put a positive spin on it, shall we?
Reward Them For: Hot Bod!
Hire An Assassin: http://big-hiredassassin.com/assassinate-someone
Big-Hired Assassin brought to you by http://otprecords.com
Posted in Assassinations by bha | No Comments »
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