Sales are through the roof!

Most of the sales are coming from digital distributors like iTunes, or pay for plays such as Rhapsody. There was one pressing of the actual cd, and there will be no more sent to print.

It will be extremely rare to have a copy of this! Get your copy now at CD Baby!

New album is in the works. Here's a taste -- Booby Trap -- Pay attention!

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Hire An AssassinHire An Assassin - Have a friend, family member, spouse, podcast, or news article that you want assassinated? Well, you've come to the right place! Tell us about it, and if the price is right (content is submitted decently) we'll take care of business.

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Random Assassinated News

Richie Sambora charged with DUI

artsamboramugap.jpg SANTA ANA, California (AP) — Richie Sambora was charged Tuesday with drunken driving following his arrest last month when his blood-alcohol level was nearly twice the legal limit, prosecutors said.

Richie Sambora, seen here in his mug shot, was allegedly seen swerving and straddling two lanes.

The Bon Jovi lead guitarist faces two misdemeanor counts of driving under the influence of alcohol and driving with a blood-alcohol level above the legal limit, the Orange County district attorney’s office said.

Sambora, 48, was pulled over in Laguna Beach on March 25 after he was allegedly seen swerving and straddling two lanes. District attorney’s spokeswoman Farrah Emami said Sambora’s blood-alcohol level was .13 percent; the legal limit is .08 percent in California.

Recently Assassinated Content

George Bush denies being a Homo sapien

April 22nd, 2008 @ 8:45 am

fubush.jpgIn a recent interview, President George Bush was asked about Global Warming, “Mr President, as a fellow Homo Sapien, does Global Warming concern you and are any major changes being discussed in the White House about it?”

The President responded, “I am not a Homo sapien! I have relations with a woman.”

Hugh Hefner refutes mild stroke

April 21st, 2008 @ 9:49 am

hughhefner_narrowweb__300x4120.jpgPlayboy Enterprises founder, majority owner, and Chief Creative Officer was admitted into a local hospital in Beverly Hills today for what doctors are calling a mild stroke. Hefner, or Hef as many call him, did not suffer any loss of motor skills from the stroke, but is under going a full set of tests.

When asked about his condition, Hefner replied, “Don’t be ridiculous! At my age, that’s not a stroke, it’s an orgasm!”

George Carlin defeats cancer

April 20th, 2008 @ 9:43 am

georgecarlin.jpgThe iconic comedian overcame what doctors have explained as a horrific bout of cancer today without using any pills, radiation, or other forms of treatment. The entire medical community is in shock over the outcome of his battle with the deadly killer.

Apparently, Carlin simply told the cancer to “Go fuck itself,” and it did.

Mel Gibson opens an all kosher café

April 20th, 2008 @ 12:46 am

mel_gibson_controversy_figure.jpgMel Gibson’s latest endeavor might come as quite a surprise to most people considering that it was less than one year ago that the actor led us on a drunken tirade of racist proportions. Gibson has felt that his recent lack of blockbuster films and recognition for his acting endeavors had to do with the Jewish community “not forgiving him” for his actions last year.

“I want them, the Jews, to know that I respect them and I think this is the only way to prove I am not an anti-Semite.”

Tom Cruise starts taking birth control pills

April 19th, 2008 @ 9:43 am

cruise180507_468x499.jpgAfter an anonymous woman alleged that actor Tom Cruise was her child’s legitimate father, a prosecutor ordered Cruise to go under DNA testing. The results now prove that he is the child’s father and arrangements are being made for what some have called ‘hefty’ child support payments.

In a recent interview, Cruise admitted that he has now begun taking birth control pills. When asked why, the Scientologist exclaimed, “It goes against all I believe in, but child support is killing me.”

Henry Rollins gets dentures

April 18th, 2008 @ 12:43 am

images1.jpgPunk rocker and indie record label owner Henry Rollins received his brand new dentures today. Reports state that due to the aging icon’s obsessive coffee drinking and lack of proper dental hygiene, due mostly to his workaholic nature, there were no alternative options.

When, asked about it, Rollins claimed, “I didn’t have time to brush teeth!”